I'm thinking. . . I really need a magic wand. Think of all the things that I (or anybody else) could do. I have a long list of personal things that I would see to of course, such as: paying off my bills, loosing weight, health and happiness for my family, more energy and less procrastination, a pain free husband, and apparently the list goes on and on. Wow, I must really daydream a lot. Anyway, after me, I would conquer the world . . . peace that is. You know, health care, feed the world, financial stability, Northern Ireland's break from England, that kind of stuff. But alas, I do not have a magic wand. What I do have is a boat load of crap that I need to deal with and try to fix with assistance from my closest friends and relatives - boy are they in for the long haul! Until I get relief, I am going to self medicate with a nice dose of Margaritas and friendly conversation with my BFF, now that should do the trick!

Tonight for clinical we had the ability to participate in a simulation lab, with a representative from the college, and our clinical instructor. It was truly a blessing. We were able to role play, and be in a position to ask questions that normally would be difficult to ask, because there would be a laboring mother in the room. The atmosphere was laid back, and one of the movies we viewed actually had me wanting to have a baby, so I could have that kind of a labor. Imagine!! The nurse was so calming, supportive, and encouraging to her patient - she made the difference in the woman's whole experience. That's what I want to do -- make a difference!

As far as the Time Traveler's Wife goes, we have only just been introduced. But so far it is intriguing I think there are many places it can go, and I am getting there, but slowly. I would like to see how she has developed the faith that he comes back each time. Anyway . . .

Passings

My thoughts go out to my friend VL today. Her grandfather died a few days ago, and I'm sure she must be having some kind of difficulty. When my grandfather died, I remember being upset that everybody seemed to be going on with life like nothing was wrong. They were going to and from work, out to lunch, and on with their days. Eventually I did too. Today is the day that somebody lost their loved one. The day that they are wondering why people don't just pause for a minute and realize that somebody is missing. It is also the day that new life begins, current lives are changed, and business just goes on as usual.
As you interact with people, do you ever wonder what is going on in their lives? What has brought them to where they are? I am trying to keep a positive tone when I interact with others, because I don't know what they are facing behind the scenes. I know at times I have been on the brink, and I ask myself if I would be justified in reacting irrationally - just because "I'm just a little unwell". But in the end I realize it's just not worth it. If I am not important enough to you for you to find out what is going on in my life, then you aren't all that important enough for an explanation of my action. But it still hurts.

But I'm Not Crazy I'm Just A Little Unwell
I Know Right Know You Can't Tell
But Stay Awhile And Maybe Then You'll See
A Different Side Of Me
I'm Not Crazy I'm Just A Little Impaired
I Know Right Now You Don't Care
But Soon Enough You're Gonna Think Of Me
And How I Used To Be...Me
(Excerpt from Matchbox 20 "I'm Not Crazy")